Emotional Growing Pains

These current Emotional Growing Pains are asking me to notice where I am feeling stuck, and to truly let go of old cycles, so that these new desires and intentions have the space to land and take root.

Reading time: 4 minutes

I remember so vividly as a child and when entering teenage years of feeling my bones growing. Particularly in my shins. The pulling and strengthening and lengthening of my body. Soothing was found through massaging, my feet propped up on a pillow as my Mum’s hands eased the discomfort along my shins and ankles.

As I entered my teenage years and early twenties, and the threshold of girlhood to womanhood was being crossed, I recall entering more physical growing pains alongside many phases of emotional challenges and growth. And at this time a phrase landed profoundly in my mind and has stayed with me ever since: Emotional Growing Pains. Times of uncovering and solidifying my self-worth, my self-trust, my connection to intuition, purpose, love and belonging. Feeling emotionally stretched and uncomfortable prior to entering a new level of comfort and ease. Making decisions that both energised and calmed me, even with elements of uncertainty. Choosing a path that I could walk with confidence and open mindedness.

Writing this, age 31, I am in the depths of another cycle of Emotional Growing Pains. Or perhaps I am ending a series of Emotional Growing Pain cycles that have been on repeat for over a decade and I am forging a new pattern. It’s hard to know exactly what the wisdom of this time is just yet. But I do know that a strong and steady internal shift is happening. And a desire to let go of what used to weigh on my mind, body and soul.

Perhaps it is being engaged to my forever love. Perhaps it is nearing the end of our 2-year visa experience living in Vancouver and exploring Canadian horizons, after which we will move back to our homeland of Southern England, with London as our base. Perhaps it is feeling the longing for quality time with our loved ones and not relying on our phones for connection. Perhaps it is getting clearer on the next stage of our lives encompassing our wedding, our marriage, our future children, our united families and friends. A lifestyle that prioritises long-lasting vitality, balance, community, career and home. There is a growing desire for more consistent and considered commitment in my life.

Whilst my twenties embraced and enhanced my desire for variety, for fast-paced learning curves, for seeking new challenges, new relationships, new homes and new adventures. New versions of self to see which fit me best. I can now feel that my thirties are welcoming a desire for boldness in a new form. The boldness of choosing to love another forever through marriage. The boldness of choosing London as our future home-base. The boldness of choosing to heal from past Emotional Growing Pains and choosing to soak in the warmth of present-day love, wisdom and acceptance that only time and perspective can offer.

I look ahead and I am beginning to feel these desires strengthening. These current Emotional Growing Pains are asking me to notice where I am feeling stuck, and to truly let go of old cycles, so that these new desires and intentions have the space to land and take root. Whilst there is always going to be a level of discomfort with not having all the answers to what is next, if I commit to my soul-led practices of yoga, running, painting, conversing and writing, I know I will continue to build a stronger trust muscle in myself that it will all work out. I can allow these current Emotional Growing Pains to reveal where self-doubt arises and to enhance self-love. To reveal where loneliness arises and to enhance connection. To reveal where fear arises and enhance joy. And to perhaps upgrade the phrase from Emotional Growing Pains to Emotional Growing Gains.