Return to Now
5 research-backed ways to reclaim your time through presence. By Kristen Mosier
Life is not waiting for us out there. It’s happening right here, right now. When the soundtrack of our minds is a running monologue of what’s happened, what’s next, and what we’re worried about, it’s easy to lose sight of the present moment, to become restless for something better or different. Yet, when we’re constantly looking ahead with longing or behind us with nostalgia, we miss out on the moment unfolding in front of us. Here are five ways to show up more fully for the life you are already living.
1. Savour the moment
Most of life is made up of mundane tasks — work, paying bills, childrearing, meal prep — and it’s easy for us to move through those responsibilities on auto pilot, out of habit and productivity. Yet, even during less exciting times, we can choose to engage with greater presence. We’ve all savoured a delicious bit of food, moving it around in our mouth, tasting the different flavours, noticing the texture. A form of mindfulness, savouring is an exercise in attending to the positive elements of our internal and external experiences. Our survival instincts make it so our minds are naturally inclined to notice threats in our environment, scanning our surroundings for dangers and potential pitfalls. However, when we intentionally shift our attention to notice the positive, we increase daily pleasures. One study found that if we practice savouring for five minutes in the morning and another five minutes in the evening, it can enhance our resilience and psychological wellbeing as we age. To get started, scan your environment for something even just slightly positive. In your mind, describe what it is and how you feel about it. Focus on the quality of your experience — the sensations, the details, the miracle of it. Express your gratitude for this element. Then move on to the next thing.
2. Adopt a singular focus
We can’t truly savour anything when we spread our attention too thin. How often do you find yourself multitasking: watching the kids, doing home chores, making plans with a friend, shooting off work emails? When we try to check off too many to-do list items at once, we end up scattered and rushed, while no task or person gets the attention they deserve. Research shows that the vast majority of us are not very effective at splitting our attention anyway, and that doing so generally makes us more distractible. Though it may not always be realistic, we can aim for more opportunities to simplify our focus, especially when spending time with others. This may look like leaving your phone in the other room, blocking out time from your work obligations, or scheduling time with one family member or friend at a time.
3. Shift your energy into the body
So many of us live entirely in our minds, with very little awareness of our bodies. Yet, when we are constantly in our heads, it’s easy to ruminate about the past, present stressors and the unknown future, getting stuck in a loop of ‘shoulds’ and ‘if-onlys’. When we can move our experience of life into the body, we feel more grounded and become more aware of the present moment and our felt experience in it. Research has found that attending to one’s internal body state plays a key role in emotional regulation. We can become more attuned to our internal state through yoga, dance, exercise, or any activity that engages the body. However, it’s also helpful to intentionally shift our attention inward. When our thoughts are spiralling, we can purposefully recentre in our bodies by noticing physical sensations, deep breathing, or paying attention to our feet on the ground. When an emotion arises, we can get curious about how it feels in our body and breathe into that space.
4. Be with nature
Nature is not just something outside our window, it is part of our makeup — we exist in relation to it, not outside of it. Our existence as a species in the larger ecosystem makes us part of an intricate web of our natural world. However, this doesn’t stop us from moving farther and farther away from it. We hide behind desks, looking at screens instead of trees; we seal our windows in favour of heat and air conditioning; we might even rebuke our kids for running barefoot outside, worried they’ll cut their feet or track dirt into the house. When we immerse ourselves in the gifts of nature — the sounds of birds chirping, the wind swaying the branches of the tree, the smell of flowers — we are not busy imagining we’re elsewhere. We can move from seeking and achieving to simply being. Nature will draw our attention to the present and support emotional regulation, allowing us to become more intentional about noticing and channeling restlessness. A large body of research reports the positive impact of being with nature, including lower blood pressure, less stress and an increase in positive feelings. One study of over 20,000 people found that spending two hours a week in nature could significantly impact your health and psychological wellbeing for the better.
“When we can move our experience of life into the body, we feel more grounded and become more aware of the present moment”
5. Get creative
Spending time on creative goals can offer novel experiences and promote wellbeing. In a study that involved participants noting their activities and emotional states in diary entries, the participants reported increased enthusiasm and a greater sense of wellbeing on days when they were more creative than usual. As children, we naturally create through drawing pictures, making mud pies and weaving make believe scenes in play. However, as we age, the pressure to be ‘good’ at something creeps in, and we begin to measure our creativity and skill in comparison to others. If you can’t draw a perfect picture, you might think, I’m not any good; I’d better leave art to ‘creative types’ to pursue. We’re all creative types, though; it just looks different for everyone. Working that muscle, for its own sake, brings joy and eases restlessness. You might try writing poetry, singing a tune, or cooking a nice meal. Similar to an exercise routine, presence practices like mindfulness, singular focus and creativity can be integrated into our daily lives. On some days, we won’t feel like paying attention, which is normal, but we can return to our intention and practice attending to the present moment, over and over again. As we quiet our restless thoughts, we’ll begin to see the world in new ways, savouring what is right in front of us.
Kristen Mosier LMFT is the author of the new book ‘Restless: How To Stop Living an If-Only Life’ out now in book stores and online. To find out more visit: kristenmosierlmft.com or connect on IG @kristenmosierlmft
Om Magazine
First published in November 2009, OM Yoga magazine has become the most popular yoga title in the UK. Available from all major supermarkets, independents and newsstands across the UK. Also available on all digital platforms.
