Learning How to Let Go

I couldn’t help but reflect on what “letting go” actually entails. More importantly, what are the results of truly “letting go”?

Reading time: 5 minutes

“Let go”, is a phrase that I have heard countless times in my life. From parents, friends, yoga teachers to meditation gurus. Each of these well-meaning individuals has exhorted me to do so at some point in time or the other. Usually to deal with the various curve balls that life occasionally throws at one. So when I found myself in shavasana (corpse pose), towards the end of my weekly yoga class and the teacher instructed us to “let go of any thoughts and distractions”; I couldn’t help but reflect on what “letting go” actually entails. More importantly, what are the results of truly “letting go”?

During meditation one is asked to focus on an object, usually one’s breath, a mantra or a sound. It is normal for the mind to get carried away during this exercise. The mind often vacillates between the past memories and an imaginary future. If one practices regularly, one will suitably be equipped to witness the inherent tendencies of one’s mind. Its nature to ruminate over fears, gloat in fantasies, the litany of complaints, myriad preferences and dislikes.

Thus when a meditation teacher interjects the mind’s usual reverie with the ubiquitous “let go” of any thoughts and distractions, students waste no time in re-centring themselves. Often, they drop their mental chatter like a hod of bricks. Practitioners then proceed to tenaciously focus on the meditation object, convinced they have let go. Unfortunately, this is a radical misunderstanding of the concept of letting go. If letting go is practised along these lines, all it creates is suppression and tension in the neural networks. Consequently, the mind is no longer at ease. In fact some meditators might even experience tension headaches or agitation, as a result.

One of my meditation teachers eloquently described the process of “letting go” as resting a heavy shopping bag on the floor. One always has the option of picking it up again but it’s not the same as dropping it down with a thud. So, how does this translate into actual practice? Letting go in the context of meditation is about being aware of the various mind states as they arise and accepting them for what they are. For example, if the the mind is caught up in planning or if it feels anxious for some reason, a meditator needs to be aware of this fact, acknowledge it and accept it. When you take the time to do this, in that fleeting moment of recognition, there is a sense of clarity and wakefulness in the mind. This is letting go; a sense of peacefulness and ease that comes from non-attachment and non-entanglement. It is so subtle, that it is almost unnoticeable. Primarily because the mind immediately latches on to another task or another train of thought.

Beginners are likely to be carried away by a torrent of thoughts and other distractions, so I recommend they try the noting technique. This is an intensive practice, in which practitioners mentally label their present moment experiences. When one deliberately pauses to make a note, it creates a small opening. This space interrupts the process whereby the mind is caught up in something so completely, that it loses awareness. Noting enables one to objectively witness one’s thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations, as they arise and unfold in the mind-body complex. Letting go happens naturally, during this simple act of noticing and labelling phenomena in real time. The more you do this, the easier it becomes to let go.

Your meditation session is then essentially a series of letting go moments strung together. When you train your mind along these lines, eventually you get to a point where the mind can let go of pain, its deep seated grudges, regrets etc. When the mind eventually unshackles itself from various emotional encumbrances, a meditator begins to experience unshakeable inner peace and harmony.

As someone who meditates regularly, I can only wax lyrical about how letting go shapes my daily life, both on and off the cushion. Recently, on a trip to Japan, I had to skip visiting a national park. This was due to insalubrious weather conditions for hiking in the high mountains. As a keen hiker, it was naturally tempting to get frustrated with the changes to my well made plans. This is where daily practice came to my aid. My mind bitterly complained, “I’m not happy. It cost a small fortune to avail of this holiday!”, “I don’t know when I will be back again”, “It’s not fair!”. I sincerely acknowledged its inner mutterings, the floods of frustration and relentless disgruntlement. Instead of prodding the mind to focus on the breath or the body, I’d simply be aware of these changing mind states as they surged and ebbed. Meditating along these lines, enabled me to attune to that sense of letting go. Had I obstinately held on to my meditation object to foist peace on my mind, it would have backfired. Any modicum of relief experienced, would have been akin to assuaging a petulant child. The unhappy thoughts and feelings would have reared their head again, resulting in more upset and angst. Instead by simply noting them, by being with them, these negative feelings passed and eventually the mind was at ease. Consequently, despite missing out on the planned excursion, I had a stellar experience.

So the next time you are on your yoga mat or on your meditation cushion, try noting. Become aware of what you are experiencing in the moment and try to sincerely acknowledge it. This then opens up the pathways for letting go. For letting go is a prerequisite for unleashing the truly transformative power of this ancient practice.