How a Solo Date Can Turn into a Lifetime of Healing & Transformation

Healing, whether emotional, psychological, or spiritual, is rarely linear. And spending time with yourself—or what we might call a "solo date"—can have deep spiritual and psychological benefits. It’s more than just alone time; its intentional solitude designed for self-connection, reflection, and joy.

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Since my kids were young, I’ve taken at least a half a day each week to spend time alone and recharge. Now with one of them a Freshman in College and the other in Sophomore in High School it still feels essential for my overall wellbeing. I think it stems from my much younger days when I first fell in love with yoga and was getting to understand myself more.

Healing and remembering my wholeness became something I couldn’t get enough of. Sometimes I would have the luxury of taking two yoga classes a day. Not because I had an unlimited number of resources or time to do so, but because I couldn’t seem to get enough of being quiet and taking good care of me. Probably a choiceless choice in so many respects. I was after all a trauma survivor and a struggling actress in Hollywood when yoga came to me. Born and raised in Australia and as a teen living in Los Angeles there were no family around, yet I became to rely on friends as family. Just having enough money to pay the rent each month was more than enough that I could focus on. Those years helped me to understand just how resilient I was and perhaps all of us when we realize we have no other choice but to keep going. And I don’t think I was this way because struggle felt inherently noble, but probably more because surviving what tried to break me changed what I was made of. It was in those places where life stretched me thin, knocked me down, and kept me in the dark that I slowly and sometimes painfully learned how to endure, adapt and rise.

But what that really translates to is that I felt tender and broken and the only way where I begin to feel better was when I was being intentional about taking care of myself. I am so glad that I just knew to do this, but maybe it is more correct to say that pain is such a good teacher. I write more about this in my memoir, A life Worth Living, A Journey of Self-Discovery Through Mindfulness, Yoga and Living in Awarenesshttps://a.co/d/jaglP16. Pain demanded my attention while forcing me to disrupt my patterns and inviting me to transform in ways that comfort rarely does. It stripped away my illusions, surfaced hidden truths and forced a kind of radical honesty with myself, with life and what matters most.

I have been teaching yoga since the early 2000’s and will be 50 in just a few short weeks. The next chapter in my life has me feeling as if I am merely just beginning again. Like I am still that younger self inside of me that is curious about life while still on the windy road of self-discovery and transformation. My hope is that I will continue to live my life through a lens with fresh eyes.

Healing, whether emotional, psychological, or spiritual, is rarely linear. And spending time with yourself—or what we might call a "solo date"—can have deep spiritual and psychological benefits. It’s more than just alone time; its intentional solitude designed for self-connection, reflection, and joy. Here's a breakdown of the benefits across both spiritual and psychological dimensions:

Spiritual Benefits

Deepened Self-Connection

When we are alone without distractions, we can listen to our inner voice more clearly.
We start to tune into our intuition, our needs, and soul's desires—things that often get drowned out in a noisy, busy life.

Presence and Mindfulness

Being alone by choice helps us to slow down and become fully present in the moment.
Activities like walking in nature, journaling, or even savoring a meal alone can become meditative and sacred.

Reconnection with Meaning

A solo day gives us time to reflect on our wisdom practices, purpose, values, and direction.
Reconnecting with spiritual practices (like prayer, meditation, or rituals) that restore our sense of meaning can feel so good for our body and soul.

Self-Love as a Sacred Act

Treating ourselves with the same care we would offer a loved one (through good food, nature, creativity, or rest) can feel like a spiritual offering to your own soul.
It fosters a sense of wholeness and worthiness from within.

Psychological Benefits

Reduced Stress and Mental Overload

Being alone in a peaceful setting can reduce cortisol (stress hormone) levels.
We’re not performing, solving others' problems, or reacting—you’re just being.

Emotional Processing and Clarity

A day alone lets us process recent emotions, decisions, or life changes without external input.
We can journal, cry, think, or simply sit with our feelings—important for self-regulation.

Increased Creativity

Solitude is fertile ground for creativity. Many of us artists, writers, and thinkers rely on time alone to access our creative flow.
Even if you're not creating something, you might find solutions to problems or new perspectives emerging naturally. I find being a student in a yoga class is very helpful for creating space within.

Stronger Self-Esteem and Independence

Taking yourself on a date reinforces the idea that your happiness doesn’t depend on others.
It builds confidence in being alone and comfortable in your own company, which strengthens emotional resilience.

Resetting Social Energy

For introverts especially, a solo day helps recharge depleted social batteries.
Even extroverts benefit from pausing the constant exchange and reflecting on their needs.

When Practiced Regularly…

Doing this regularly creates a rhythm of intentional self-care. It becomes a time to check in with yourself, celebrate yourself, and reset spiritually and mentally. Over time, it deepens your relationship with you—which is the foundation for all other relationships and decisions.

Ideas for a Solo Date: