The Happiness Explorer

How to…get more freedom - By Lydia Kimmerling

I am a freedom fighter — I fight for emotional freedom. I believe that no one should feel trapped in their life, but you won’t see me protesting for this on the streets though. This is a fight I help you win when you’re battling against yourself. Getting more freedom in your life might mean wanting to have more control over your time, or being in a better financial position, or leaving a relationship, but quite often what holds people back from creating this physical freedom is being trapped in their mind.

You can’t escape your mind but you can learn to be more in control of it, which is what can lead to more emotional freedom. When someone makes the mindset shift that allows them to create the change they want to see in their life, they value the emotional freedom they create, over the result itself. This is quite often because it’s not the situation that is making us unhappy in life, it’s what we are thinking about it that is. The faster you can change your mind, the quicker you can free yourself from it.

As a young woman, I used to hold onto things a lot. I was forever feeling annoyed with people for what they had said or done to me. Until one day, my boyfriend at the time pointed this out: “You have trouble letting things go,” he said. And he was right. I got very easily trapped in my own mind, which then trapped me emotionally and made life feel more difficult.

If you have trouble letting things go — maybe you still feel shame over something you did in your youth, or you’re still angry about how an ex treated you, or you worry about what a work colleague thinks of you — you’re not only limiting your emotional freedom but you’re also limiting your spiritual freedom too.

Spiritual freedom grows as our self awareness grows. For me, a part of spiritual freedom is being in flow with life and living with a level of conciseness that allows you to be at peace with where you are and who you’re being. If you want more freedom in your life — whether that’s physical, mental, emotional or spiritual freedom — being aware of what you need to let go of is a good first step that can free you up to create change.

For a moment, I want you to pick up an item that is in front of you. Maybe there is a pen, a cup or your phone and hold it in your hand. Then make the decision that you need to use the same hand to so something else with it.

You can’t move on to the next thing freely and with ease, until you let go of what you have in your hand. Now put that item down. That was easy, right? Letting go can be as easy as picking something up and then putting it down again. It’s a choice you make.

If you want more freedom in your life, first choose to let go. The fight for freedom you are feeling is simply the resistance to changing your mind. The faster you can change your mind, the quicker you can free yourself from it.

Lydia Kimmerling is the founder of The Happiness Explorer. Follow her on Instagram for daily happiness explorations @lydiakimmerling or visit her website ( for information on accredited life coach certification or working one-to-one.

Om Magazine

First published in November 2009, OM Yoga magazine has become the most popular yoga title in the UK. Available from all major supermarkets, independents and newsstands across the UK. Also available on all digital platforms.