How to get unstuck
The Happiness Explorer, by Lydia Kimmerling
It’s common for people who work with me to be asking the question: What will make me truly happy? Usually, they start asking this question at a point in life where they are fed up in their career but they don’t know what it is they want next and not being able to find the answer to this can make you feel very, very stuck.
If this is something you’re asking yourself right now, I am celebrating this for you and so is your future self! Feeling stuck and experiencing what you do not want, is the first step in manifesting change. To know what you do want, you have to experience what you don’t want — and it’s for this reason that I am celebrating this for you.
What’s great is that you have the awareness that this is no longer the experience you want and this discomfort is what is pushing you towards what you do want, by nudging you with the life-changing question: What will make me truly happy?
Of course feeling stuck isn’t great, but if you can shift your perspective towards celebrating this question (because now you know that it means change is coming, instead of feeling frustrated that you don’t have an answer yet) you will move more quickly towards clarity.
And because I have helped hundreds of people find the answer to this question, I can tell you that what’s on the other side is more beautiful, more joyful and more freeing than you can imagine. Although on the surface this appears to be about finding a new career, it is usually much more about being true to yourself. In the process of becoming more true to yourself, you discover a greater sense of inner peace and this inner peace gives you the personal power to live your life for you.
If you’re asking yourself this question and you’d like to find more clarity and direction so that you can move your life forward, I’ve outlined five steps below that will help you to get started.
1. Start being true to yourself
When you know that you could be happier but you don't know what how to get there, it's likely that you're unknowingly programmed into ideas and beliefs that are not true to who you really are. Make a list of what you are thinking about yourself and your current situation and be unwaveringly honest about which of those thoughts needs to change.
2. Stop people pleasing
If you are constantly thinking about what other people want and you worry a lot about what other people think, this means that you're not living your life for you. Write an unapologetic list of how you would live your life if you didn't care about what other people thought of you.
3. Get to know yourself
If you doubt yourself often, lack self-belief, or find it hard to make decisions, this means that you are disconnected from yourself and this lack of connection will stop you from being truly happy and sabotage your success. Write a list of everything you like and don't like, plus start taking note of your opinion on things. This is an easy way to start knowing yourself better.
4. Improve your 'selfationship'
Your 'selfationship' is the relationship that you have with yourself – so if you don't like yourself, or you treat yourself unkindly, it means that you need to improve the relationship you have with yourself! Write a list of all the ways you would like to be treated and start actioning them yourself.
5. Let go of fear
If you're not moving forward because you procrastinate about everything and are telling yourself that you don't know where to start, it's likely that you are unknowingly programmed into fear. Write a list of all the fears you have a the moment and start to address them one by one by asking yourself: "If I wasn't fearful of [insert fear], I would..." and then take action to overcome each fear.
Your new life is in processing, it's already started to take shape and form. It takes time and it can feel slow, but in the end, it will be the transformation you went through to get there that you most value, so enjoy the journey.
Which of these five steps is it that you think you need to take? Say hello to Lydia Kimmerling on Instagram @lydiakimmerling where you can find out about her power hour session that will unlock the clarity to move your life forward.
First published in November 2009, OM Yoga magazine has become the most popular yoga title in the UK. Available from all major supermarkets, independents and newsstands across the UK. Also available on all digital platforms.