yoga kept me going

The yoga of today

Inspirational yoga that kept me going by Yas Knegt

A while back, having come a from an abusive relationship with elements of domestic violence, pathological narcissism and psychopathy, having been threatened, devalued, and gaslighted with drugs and intent to break me down, not only had my mind been suffering from that phase and its tantrums and trauma, where basically one wants to save and fix and heal while being emotionally and energetically used up, but also my body had been suffering immensely.

I had come in contact with people who were leading a life style of procrastination, drug abuse, and misogyny, and the effects of that was showing on my body as well: I was tired all the time, mostly using the bed in a depressive state of being, and not eating properly, neglecting my body as well as stuffing it up, like my other half had been doing for a longer time, and I was not infected with this style of self-abuse, and frankly, it could show in every aspect of my life.

I had been doing yoga for about 10 years now though and had read about the healing effects of it post traumatic stress, releasing stress and trauma, so even during that phase being in a situtationship as I was, I had not abandoned yoga, but also, yoga had not abandoned me.

Throughout this time, any pressure or pain or abuse from the outside that I endured, yoga had become my refuge where I could lose the negative energy and gain back my sense of self and health, all at one: I would imagine that no matter what outside elements would try to affect me, I was not going to be harmed, because it was me and yoga against the world, or at least, parts of it we can come in contact with, once we leave our own healthy bubble, that are a representation of the abuse of mind and body. Yoga in that time was what made me keep holding on to the principles of healthy living that before that time frame, I had set for myself, and because I was doing yoga, stretching and bending my body aligned with my breathe, no matter what was happening to me, I each time would recall my own purpose in life: that of a healthy life, leading to a happy life. And that of together with yoga, opening up the heart, and not just stretching the body!

See for me, yoga is not just sports, or something that flew from the east to the west and is now being copied on a larger scale with profit, as some see it, for me, yoga is a life style, a choice, and a path, towards healing BOTH the mind and the body, through alignment with the breath, practicing resilience, and patience in hopeful repetition and a chance to grow in that, as well achieving health for the body, as well as peace for the mind.

But above all, for me yoga, is a representation of life, that keeps bending us backwards and folding us and surprising us and challenging us, but as long as we hold on to our principles and carry on with determination, it will reward us with health, and make us happy in return, because it gives us an opportunity to work through our issues. And that is truly what yoga does: each time I am on the mat, it is an opportunity to better myself, refined the alignment of my breath with my body, to help find a balance between pushing myself and relaxing myself, to find my core, and at the same time to be confronted with the issues of my mind: the thoughts that come in, the restlessness that we all might know, comes to us when we have to stay a bit longer in that particular challenging pose, the one we hate because then all are internal mind issues keep coming up as well. And that is a confrontation worth having.

And that ultimate pose, most important a yoga teacher might say, the Shavassana, through which we release ourself into a sleep state of being, relaxing and trusting into it.

During the nineties the wave of yoga that came through the west became that of power pumping and competitive push towards more and better poses and the stretch for the body rather than a release and healing for the mind.

These days though, because we have more power in our own hands as yogis and teachers to shape the form of yoga, in the west, new more aligned ways are developing for practitioners.

These days, subtle gentleness is the new advanced.

More and more the youth and our teachers are embracing old wisdom that yoga originally brought with it, to heal the mind, all the while understanding that it is not about attracting followers with the allure of flashy poses, rather, the balance and the alignment of body, breathe and mind, that can bring health, release and healing to both the body AND the mind!

The commercial yoga world is losing its allure of power and the competitive drive that basically represents the western society and principles, while more and more yogis are coming to understand the holistic spiritual aspect of yoga, and the importance of the Alignments that yoga can offer.

Sure, people still want to sweat, to push their body further and to seek limits, to look sexy because they practice poses that can shape the body for the better and to belong to a healthy life style, but more and more we are living yoga, which means there is an awakening to how yoga is not only something that we do on the mat, but also a healthy choice with the healing of the body and mind as a prospect, that we can practice with the opening of our heart, both on and off the mat, practicing what we preach, both in the class as well outside of it. Becoming more free in our minds, while we expand our bodies!

In addition to that, on the mat, yogis are understanding that yoga is not something that is power related, but also, a practice that should have safety in mind; a safer and slower approach that gives the yogi a chance to truly learn step by step, while challenging the body in a safe setting, and at the same time releasing repetitive patterns of thoughts, or even trauma and memories, and to heal the mind, while opening the heart!

"People are discovering again that yoga is not necessarily something you do to yourself so much as something you do with yourself."

It’s a question of purpose really; are we doing yoga practice because we want to sweat? Are we doing it because we want to be stronger and more flexible? Are we doing yoga practice because you have pain and want relief? Are we doing yoga practice simply because we want to learn to live well? May be, it is all of the above.

Or perhaps just perhaps, yoga is not just sports, or something that flew from the east to the west and is now being copied on a larger scale with profit, as some see it, and instead, yoga is a life style, a choice, and a path, towards healing BOTH the mind and the body, through practicing resilience, and patience in hopeful repetition and a chance to grow in that; peace for the mind, and health for the body, no matter what pace we choose to have...

Above all though, perhaps yoga is a representation of life, that keeps bending us backwards and folding us and surprising us and challenging us, but as long as we hold on to our principles and carry on with determination, it will reward us with health, and make us happy in return, because it gives us an opportunity to work through our issues. And that is truly what yoga does: each time we are on the mat, it is an opportunity to better ourself, refined the alignment of the breath with the body: to help find a balance between pushing ourself and relaxing, to find our Core, and at the same time to be confronted with the issues of our mind: the thoughts that come in, the restlessness that we all might know from time to time, when we have to stay a bit longer in that particular challenging pose, the one we hate because then all are internal mind issues keep coming up as well. And that is a confrontation worth having!

And that ultimate pose, most important a yoga teacher might say, the Shavassana, through which we release ourself into a sleep state of being, relaxing and trusting into it.

Yes, yoga is a healing tool, a tool to exercise the mind and body, and to release the mind into a state of free thinking and health, but above all, if we dare trust in the poses, in the process, and the teacher, and our own body, yoga is a tool to open our heart. And that is worth everything to me!

Whatever question you’re asking yourself and whatever the answer you may arrive at, space enough for the inquiry is going to be required. And the Yoga of today takes emphasis off accomplishing something and puts it more on experiencing something.

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Yas Knegt

former medical student researcher, writer and at times blogger, who is in love with the quest for creating awareness for medical issues, yoga, psychological and emotional issues and the issues that affect the world, and the preservation of its nature. She is trying to do that now by way of social media and as a writer. Also completed teacher training in Vinyasa yoga.