Find peace, find happy
We can find happiness all the time but only if we make peace with ourselves and the world around us first. By Lydia Kimmerling
Is it possible to be happy all of the time? Yes! But first it’s important that we define happiness. Last year I went through a break up with the father of my child. Along with everything else that was happening in 2020, this wasn’t the easiest ride. What surprised me though, was that even when the pain and sadness were at a 10, I was still happy. Imagine if you could go through life with a certainty and confidence, that no matter what was thrown at you, you would always be okay? This isn’t another ‘believe it into existence manifesting law of attraction’ thingy, that promises the world, yet leaves you frustrated and wondering if there’s something wrong with you. Nor is this for the faint hearted. You can live a life where you are happy all of the time, but to get there takes work, effort and energy. And what you gain when you invest in yourself this way, is that whatever life throws at you, becomes a gift.
As a master life and business coach who has been in the industry for 10 years, I’m fortunate to have spent thousands of hours listening to what makes us happy and unhappy. People come to me with all different types of goals: to change careers, find their purpose, start a business, lose weight, meet their soulmate, love themselves and much more. What I have learned is that when you dig a bit deeper, no matter what the goal is, we all want the same — to just be happy. Yet we think that this happiness lives in the future, which is why we often get caught in a happiness waiting game saying: “I’ll be happy when…I lose a few more pounds, meet someone, or make more money”. Sound familiar? If so, it’s time to stop outsourcing your happiness to the future and come back to what is always available to you in the present moment.
When we are looking to the future to make us happy, what we are really longing for is to feel content in the now. And that contentment is peace…being at peace with yourself and with the world around you. But what most of us do not know is that peace is who we are at our core — it is our true self. And peace leads to happiness…which is why I say that you can be happy all of the time, once you know how to come back to your true self.
So who is your true self? Your true self is free from the limitations of the mind. She is emotionally liberated so that she can dance in the moment with life.
She can take big leaps of faith and know it will all work out, because she knows herself and therefore can trust herself. She knows that she can not control life for that would mean going against the will of life itself. She is aware that there will always be positive and that there will always be negative. She sees that you cannot control life but you can control how you respond to it.
And that is what I did when I went through the break up last year. I made a choice how I responded to what life was throwing at me and it became a gift. As the pain poured out onto my bed, I lay sobbing with both fists clenched tightly under my solar plexus, curled up in a ball; I had not felt anything like this before, but it wasn’t only pain that I was feeling. A part of me was experiencing the break up and then there was my higher self in awe of the peace I was also anchored to. I allowed the pain to move through me like a wave that I had caught and within minutes she merged with the shore and I knew everything would be okay. I was going through something very difficult and yet I was still happy.
No matter what life brings, you can always come back to peace — but it is a practice, just like your yoga and meditation. When you next find yourself trying to swim against the tide, instead of catching the wave, ask yourself: “What am I not surrendering to?” and see if you can let go just a little bit more. Here you will find your peace…and peace leads to happiness.
Lydia Kimmerling is founder of The Happiness Explorer. Her accredited 12-month, life coach training and business mentorship course next runs in September. Register at: thehappinessexplorer.com or follow her on Instagram @lydiakimmerling